A Day in Our Life

We just wrapped up Independence Day weekend with a welcome forecast of sunshine for the next week ahead. Man, do we need it. We’ve  had too many days of rain and chill. This is July! So far, it’s been one of the wettest years on record for the Portland area.  Everyone in the house has had a cold this last week. Jenny and I have had allergies on top of that. We’re going through plenty of Kleenex. So we laid low this weekend.

We usually write about particular events on this blog – a trip to the beach, a day at the farm, etc. – but I realize more and more that the kids will someday read this. This will be a record of these years they won’t really remember. As with most people, the veracity of their early childhood memories will forever be in doubt. Do I really remember that, or do I remember the photograph? The video? The story I was told by my parents?  Likewise, Jenny and I will grow, the rhythm of our daily lives will change, and we too will struggle to remember the feeling of now. I’m sure we’ll remember the joy and fun. We shouldn’t forget the frustration and challenges, though. It’s all part of the experience, and may provide perspective in the future.

Here’s a weekday with Oliver (3 ½ years old), Zaeda (1 year old), Jenny (36), Keith (37)

2:00 AM:  Oliver wakes up in the middle of the night. He’s had a bad dream, or he’s wet, or there is a housefly in his room. We wake up. We hear and see him on the B&W monitor in our upstairs bedroom. He’s calling for us. One of us goes down to comfort him and get him back to sleep.

4:00 AM:   Zaeda wakes up. She stands up in her crib, hands on the rail, wailing and watching us on the bed just feet away. Jenny and I hold still for a long time. Sometimes she gives up quickly and goes back to sleep. If she keeps it up, I take her out of the crib and Jenny nurses her. She falls asleep on Jenny. The two of them might finish the night that way, snoozing in the nursing position. Other times, we put her back in the crib.

5:30 – 5:45 AM:   One or both kids awake, wiggling, crawling, singing, talking. The cat is outside our bedroom mewling for food. We stumble out of bed. Feed pets. Make coffee. Prepare Oliver’s oatmeal -- sometimes the only thing he’ll eat for breakfast. I microwave some oats with milk, then stir in some butter, brown sugar and spoonful of peanut butter. After that I spread it out on a plate, which cools it quickly. For Zaeda, we cut up some fruit and add either chopped-up waffle, toast, cereal, or some clumps of oatmeal. Both kids drink milk and get their daily vitamins on the side. Jenny and I drink coffee, keep the kids eating, and try to look over the daily newspaper.

6:45 AM:  After breakfast I walk the dog for 10 minutes while Jenny gets the kids dressed. Oliver is absorbed in cartoons. Zaeda walks around getting into stuff. When I get back, we herd everyone upstairs. We load up cartoons on the computer for Oliver. Jenny and I take turns showering and getting ready while the other keeps Zaeda occupied. We used to have to help Oliver start the cartoons on the computer, but he now knows how to use the mouse himself to find and click on what he wants to see. This is not necessarily a good thing…

7:45 AM:  All dressed and ready. Jenny and I are dressed in clean business clothes. The kids are in clothes that they will not likely end the day in. Now begins the fight to get everyone out the door. It starts with shutting off the computer cartoons. We never know how easy it will be. Sometimes Oliver says, “all right” and shuts them off himself. Other times, there’s a huge struggle. But we’re the adults. We always win. Everyone downstairs. Finding shoes. Changing a last minute diaper blow out. Potty time for Oliver. Loading up the car. Dog out for one last break. Multiple trips from house to car. Kids buckled in. Portable coffee cups in place. What time is it?

8:00 AM:  We’re driving downtown. By popular demand, They Might Be Giants is playing in the car. Kids are usually quiet. Jenny and I discuss the day ahead.

8:15 AM:  Arrive at Jenny’s office. Drop her off. She kisses the kids, grab her things and heads into the office. Zaeda wails to see her go.

8:25 AM:  Arrive at daycare across town. Oliver out first. He has a toy he wants to bring for show-and-tell. I pop the trunk and get all their bags and stuff in hand. Finally comes Zaeda, who I carry. We walk around the building to the entrance, enter a security code and go in. The staff is great. They greet the kids by name. We drop off Zaeda in a room full of blubbering, wandering, stumbling 1-year-olds. Fill out a sheet. Put her food in the fridge. Big kiss, then leave the room. Oliver goes into his classroom with his toy in front of him, eager to show it off. His friends gather round him, Wyatt, Zoe, Nolan, and the rest. He’s soon playing. I sign them in and squirt a bunch of sanitizer on my hands before leaving the building.

8:40 AM:  I’m at work. Jenny and I exchange a couple emails or calls over the course of the day.

5:10 PM:  Jenny leaves work. If it’s rainy, she takes the Max across town to the parking lot and picks up the car before getting the kids. If it’s nice, she gets the kids and walks from daycare to the square outside my office at PSU. She has to do everything I did in the morning, but in reverse. She also has to collect any bags of soiled clothes, misc artwork, and daily reports. She often handles all this without the car.

6:15 PM:  I leave work and join Jenny and the kids. How was everyone’s day? As we drive home, Oliver fills us in on the games, fights, toilet accidents, jokes, etc. that happened at school today.

6:40 PM:  Get home. Dog out. Feed pets. Set up baby gates at the foot of the stairs and the kitchen. Oliver turns the sofa cushions into a castle. Zaeda either follows us crying to be held or plays with Oliver. Again, we take turns going upstairs to change – into sweatpants and t-shirts; we’ll be covered in something by the end of the evening and we don't give a damn how we look any more.

6:45 PM:  Start dinner. On good days, we’ve prepped something in the slow cooker that morning. Otherwise, one of us (we split it 50/50) starts on a 20 minute dinner.

7:15 PM:  Dinner. We’re all eating the same thing. Oliver is almost never happy with the food in front of him. Zaeda almost always is. For her, eating is still an adventure. She has some new teeth to practice with, and handful by handful, it all moves from the tray to her mouth, her face, her hair, or the floor.  Oliver will poke at his food, play with it, blow raspberries at his sister, tell us stories, or work on his name-calling (“Hey Goo-boo!  Mommy, I called Zaeda ‘Goo-boo’!" [delighted laughter]).  Jenny and I take turns asking him to eat. We coax, promise rewards (dessert), threaten (no dessert) and anything else we can to get him to finish. He plays a game of “how many bites?” where you have to tell him how many more bites he must put away to qualify for dessert. He may also forget how to use a fork or spoon and ask for help “loading” the food onto his utensil. Finally, he’ll just ask for one of us to help him eat it. By the end, he always eats something -- sometimes everything --and we’re all ready to be done with dinner.

7:40 PM:  Bath time. Bubble mix in. Water started. I try to remove at least some of the 20 or so toys crowding the tub but Oliver always dumps in a few more at the last minute (including stuffed animals and books). He complains that the water is too hot. I run more cold water. He starts playing. We bring Zaeda into the bathroom. She’s so covered with food we always hesitate, not sure where to start. We peel off her clothes and drop her in. She immediately goes for whatever toy Oliver is playing with. In between their playing, fighting, and shifting around, I try to work a soapy washcloth over them both. Soon, I’m pretty wet. Time for Zaeda to come out. Jenny takes her, dries her off, and soon has her fresh and smiling in clean pajamas. Oliver and I now battle over washing his hair. We’ve tried so many techniques & special tools, like a bath visor or a bucket with a soft side to keep the water out of his face. He won’t go for any of them. Too often it’s come to me holding him and shampooing and spraying out his hair as well as I can as he fights and screams. It always ends in tears and a puddle. Recently, Jenny has gotten him to relax on the kitchen counter as she gently uses only her hand to wash his hair. Thank God for her gentle method!

8:00 PM:  Pajamas on. Teeth brushed. Fluoride tablet. Last pee. Sticker for the successful pee posted on the sticker chart. Time for a story. Oliver’s bed is crowded with so many animals he must have there every night. I make room to sit. He sits beside me. Jenny places Zaeda with us on Oliver’s bed and I read from a library book. Zaeda makes it halfway through before she wants to climb over us both, and then she’s blubbering and clearly tired. Jenny picks her up and Zaeda does a night-night wave to us. Jenny takes her upstairs, reads a bit to her, and then puts her down. Oliver and I read another book or two and then I make up a story on the spot. He adds his own details. The story almost always starts with a boy named Oliver and ends with him going to bed. Lights out. Door shut.

8:15 PM: Oliver calling for us. “Mommy!” “Daddy!” because he needs water, or a stuffed animal is missing, or he wants a certain book in bed with him. This can go on for an hour, but usually we ignore him after the first request. He’s learning…

8:20 PM: I walk the dog. Jenny cleans up from dinner.

8:30 – 9:30 PM:  Sweet bliss as Jenny and I wind down and watch TV or talk till bedtime.

11:50 PM: Zaeda wakes up…

Zaeda Turns One

I have quite a few clothes that I wore as a little girl and I have had fun putting Zaeda in these same outfits.

This is a picture of me at 11 months wearing my poppy’s christening gown. The gown was 57 years old in 1975. Here is Zaeda at almost 12 months wearing it. We took about a dozen pictures and most of them just have her foot in the shot. She’s a busy little girl.


Zaeda is walking a lot and she’s fast, getting into more trouble and making us chase her. One of her favorite tricks it to start up the stairs and giggle as we tell her no. It’s a game to see how many steps she can climb before we make it to her and take her back. Her record is about five.

She is now very expressive, both physically and vocally, and is starting to mimic a lot of sounds. Some of the ones we recognize:

1. Uh-oh
2. Oh no
3. Cow
4. Moo
5. Woof woof
6. Nigh Nigh (Night Night)
7. Bye Bye
8. Yesss
9. Hi

Her favorite by far is "oooohh!" and her little mouth is in the perfect little “o” shape. She waves bye-bye and night-night and points at everything. She also holds a play cell phone to her ear to “talk”.

1st Birthday Party

Zaeda’s party started off with lots of presents—adorable clothes, nesting blocks and baby dolls (the stylish blonde doll in denim was made by our very talented friend and neighbor Autumn). I tried out a new cupcake recipe which seemed to go over ok. It was a chocolate cupcake with a ganache center and meringue buttercream frosting. I didn’t think the frosting turned out that great but it was edible.

We got the customary shots of Zaeda eating her cupcake when she suddenly became very fussy. She was pulling and scratching at her ears which were bright red and the skin around her neck was also red with what looked like welts. We cleaned her up quickly and headed to urgent care thinking she was having an allergic reaction to something. We left the house in a big hurry without much of an explanation and a complete disaster of ice cream, cupcakes, tissue paper and presents. Thanks to everyone who stuck around and cleaned up.

After about 30 minutes in the waiting room Zaeda seemed to be getting better. We waited a total of 2 ½ hours before she was finally seen and diagnosed with an ear infection in both ears. Not exactly how we planned her first birthday to go but it was memorable.

Here we are at the end of Monday and Oliver is coming up on 4 days straight with a sticker on his face. Apparently one of his teachers stuck it on his face for fun, but he has since refused all requests to take it off. Once it dried on, it wouldn’t come off easily, not that he’d let us try. Right now he’s in the bathtub, where I was able to soak it a bit, but I think we’ll see sticker residue the rest of the week.

He’s been obsessed with collecting bugs in a little plastic bug collection container. There are potato bugs in our yard that’ve been caught and released four times by now. They’re learning to scatter when they hear him coming.


Oliver Quotes
“Mommy, are you joking me?”

“I’m Spiderman! I can fly!”

 "Fishing" at the local elementary school carnival

Walkin!

First off, a big Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms in our lives. We love you all and we’re so thankful to have such a family. Here is the card Oliver made at daycare for Jenny (she’s still puzzling out what he meant by the last part):

Zaeda is walking! Her first steps were on April 22. By May 1, she was climbing the stairs. Out with the baby gates!

As of today, her record is about 6 feet (10 – 12 steps).  She still crawls when she needs to get somewhere, but she’s spending more and more time on two feet.

Oliver’s bathroom training is showing progress. He was backsliding for a while there, basically telling us he had to go after he had to go. Then we set up some charts where he earns a sticker for each success. When he fills up all the boxes on the chart, he gets to choose a toy from a motivational box filled with cheap stuff from the dollar store. Great results so far.  He’s sitting on the big toilet now and experimenting with standing up to pee, which sometimes gets messy, but everyone is happy he’s moving forward.

Canoe Trip

Our lovely 16 foot canoe sat through last summer completely untouched and I didn’t want that to happen again. So yesterday, a sunny Saturday, I took the canoe down and started early in the morning cleaning it up with Oliver’s help. He was in charge of sponging the dust off the oars.  It was a couple hours before everything was cleaned and loaded on the van. Then we took it to nearby Smith Lake here in Portland.

Doing this kind of thing with kids adds layers of difficulty. We knew it would, but even so, it was a bit much. First we walked as a family down the trail to the boat launch – basically a gully impression in the mud leading into a shallow and stick-filled marsh. Jenny held the kids while I went back to the car for all the life vests and assorted gear. Then I made another trip and untied the canoe, wrestled it off the car and onto my shoulders, and carried it down the trail to the launch. I was wiped out before we hit the water, but I was excited to get out there, as was Oliver. Jenny, holding Zaeda while I hauled gear, was already getting a sense of how tough it was about to get.

Next we fit the kids in the life vests, ourselves in ours, and set what we needed in the boat. I dragged it into deeper water and we got the kids seated. Oliver sat in the middle. Jenny took the back platform with Zaeda on her lap. I dragged the boat out into deeper water and took my seat with the oar. I got it out in the lake and took this picture:

I’m glad I did, because there wasn’t much more time out there to shape the memory. Baby Zaeda, the sun overhead, was squirmy. She just wouldn’t sit still and we realized there was nowhere safe for her to go. We couldn’t set her down in the boat because she’d shuffle around, crawl up to the side, bother her brother, and do any number of things that would have required one of us to be shifting around to manage her. So Jenny just held her on her lap as she wailed and twisted impatiently.

15 minutes after setting out, we were back to where we’d launched. It was hot. We packed and loaded our stuff. Once in the back of the van, Zaeda happily rummaged around in cupboards and drawers, pulling out the cups and silverware. Oliver was moody, muddy, and sorely disappointed his boat trip had ended so soon. Jenny and I were exhausted.

To cap it all off, a holding strap loosened on the drive home and the end got caught under a tire when I back up in front of the house, almost yanking the canoe off the van and scratching up the sides. That’s what I get for hurrying.

Conversations noted by Jenny

Jenny takes notes on funny conversations we have around the house. Here are a couple good ones:

“Sandwich”

Keith working late. Oliver and Zaeda are at the table and I am putting dinner on the table.

Oliver: Where is Daddy?

Me: Working at his office.

Oliver: I want Daddy home for dinner.

Me: Don’t you like eating dinner with me?

Oliver: No.

Me: You don’t like me? (This wouldn’t be surprising as I know Keith can be more fun than me)

Oliver: No, I like you. I just want both of you. I want two of my family not just one.

A few minutes later after he looked at his dinner.

“But Mommy, I ordered a sandwich.”

“Duty”

Oliver is a big fan of what we call potty talk. We’ve been trying to discourage it – especially at the dinner table, but we also understand that it is just a phase and a part of his developing humor (for better or worse). One night Keith and I were discussing something that was going on at work and Oliver was listening. I was talking about an issue involving shipping and transportation.

Me:  “…and then you have to pay duty.”

Oliver:  (very excited) “Mommy! You said doody! Ha, ha, ha!”

Keith and I really tried not to laugh but we couldn’t help it.  It’s funny because although they are different, I kind of feel that they are the same.

April, Easter Eggs and Beach Sand

This blog posting moment is brought to us by Neskowin and naps: busy beach days may sometimes give you simultaneously sleeping children! We had about 20 sweet minutes there.

 

Easter! After a few years of practice, Oliver knows the egg-hunt drill as well as any kid. Zaeda, who isn’t ready to scramble on her hands and knees across the muddy local park, and who doesn’t get to eat the candy, is left playing with colorful eggs and enjoying a lovely dress she managed to wear for four hours.

On Saturday morning before Easter, the weather was wet and ugly. The egg hunt at Fernhill park is advertised as “Rain or shine” so we looked out the window and adopted a wait and watch approach. We waited for the rain to stop. We watched the puddles build and the ground turn soggy. It looked like we’d be hiding more eggs under the living room sofa.

Then, minutes before the egg hunt was to start, the clouds parted and we had – well, not sun exactly, but a clear spot. We decided to put on boots and go for it. And we went to the park, which was swelling with families like ours. It was actually another huge turnout.

Oliver's kite: We used his new kite as a carrot to induce good behavior all week. I can't tell you how many times he almost didn't get a new kite. Luckily for him, we're softies.

Zaeda put her toes in the sand for the first time this weekend. Then she leaned over and did exactly what Oliver had done at her age: put a handful in her mouth.
Our first evening at the beach was so nice and sunny that Oliver and I made a small fire and roasted marshmallows for s'mores. He didn't like the smoke in his eyes. I didn't much like the many many marshmallows we lost because he dropped the stick in the sand. In the end we managed to get one s'more put together for him to eat.

The biggest news is that Zaeda is almost walking! It’s tough to say whether she has really walked yet, but she’s taken a lurching step from the standing position (and promptly fallen). Right now, we’re agreeing that she’s close and we’ll note the magic date she really takes independent steps. Any day now. Meanwhile, she is crawling fast, standing unassisted, cruising the furniture and dancing in place. She is jabbering away, blowing raspberries, and shaking her head playfully when we tell her “no.” She has a bye-bye wave that is pretty cute – just clenching and unclenching her little hand. She and Oliver have crawling races across the house. It’s just so much fun to see them interacting and having fun. We also look forward to the day they can play together without supervision. Oliver sometimes wants to hug his sister and carry her around, but she’s a lot for him to handle and more than once he’s tried lifting and dragging her by the neck. That freaks us out. Little sister is surprisingly resilient.

Lost in his art (always with the tongue out)

Oliver's picture of Daddy in front of Mountains

Oliver quotes:

"I want to get growed up like Daddy."

"Mommy, is that how you talk to your son?"

"Zaeda, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok."

"Zaeda, remember I told you that I need my space."

First trip to the dentist

Crawlin

The big news in recent weeks is that Zaeda is mobile!  We’re on high alert now and she scoots around, tasting things off the floor and exploring. Her relationship with Oliver is different now too. For the first time, she’s really getting into his things. Sometimes, he’s happy to play with her and share his toys. And sometimes... not.

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Zaeda is able to stand by herself for long moments. No independent steps so far, but she’s cruising the furniture and sneaking up our pants legs. She also claps and waves bye-bye.

Unpacking a suitcase

Oliver is doing well as school, coming home with long stories about his friends. At bedtimes, he spins fanciful tales where he and his schoolmates meet giants and ride hot air balloons. He’s at an age where kids tart to play with one another a bit more, developing rules and negotiating.

Photos by Oliver

Around the house, Oliver tests us with long rambling streams of nonsense words and limited potty talk.  He gets evicted from the dinner table quite a bit for giggling rants of “Poo poo!” and “you’re a doodee!” and “Zaeda pees her pants!”  We know it’s a phase, but we’re waiting for him to start this when we go to a restaurant or something.

Feelings and Other Conversations

Oliver’s class has been learning about feelings for the past two weeks. They have drawn pictures while listening to different kinds of music to see how their drawings are different. Recently, they learned about love and made Valentines.

A few days ago we had the usual struggle about naptime. I had told Oliver that the timer was going to go off in 30 minutes at which time he should try going potty and then it was time to lie down and rest. He was not excited about the nap and was pouting. I went upstairs to pay bills and he stood at the bottom and said, “Mommy, remember how we learned about feelings. Well, I’m feeling mad because you want me to take a nap!”

I came downstairs to find Oliver leaning against the sofa with his head on the cushions.

Me: Are you still mad?
Oliver: Yes.
Me: How do you think I feel?
Oliver: (sheepishly) Mad. I was actually feeling more frustrated than anything.
Me: Why do you think I’m mad?
Oliver: Because I’m not listening.
Me: What do you think you should do?
Oliver: Go into my room and take a nap.

He went into his room and there was still a bit of a struggle but after allowing him to take two new library books into bed with him and assuring him that he didn’t need to nap but just close his eyes for awhile he settled down. He was asleep within a few minutes.

Overheard Oliver Quotes

Oliver to Keith: I’m going to watch you make dinner.
Keith: Ok
Oliver: So … (long pause) how do you make dinner?


“Daddy, remember you need to pretend to eat this (Play-doh) cookie!”


Oliver: I’m feeling tired. I’ve had enough. (crosses his arms)
Keith: Enough of what?
Oliver: I’m tired of setting the table. I don’t want to do it anymore!


“Mommy, you’re a beautiful woman.”

“I want all my girlfriends from school to come over to my house.”

Art show

An amazing thing happened last week. As usual, Oliver was working with his markers and paper at the dining room table when he announced that he was going to write his name. He’s messed around with some O’s and E’s but he’d always shut us down when we tried to work on letters with him. So it was astounding to watch him WRITE HIS NAME! He threw an extra Z in there ("Ozliver"), but we were blown away. I took a picture, then he added his last name. Again, totally caught us by surprise. Delighted, we put it front and center on the already crowded fridge. Just over 3 years old! We don't know what's normal, but that's the fun of parenthood - every first is incredible.

The family appreciation of his writing and artwork has led Oliver to staging his drawings around the house and on the fridge. It is like we’re an art exhibit and he is the only artist. “Put it there on the wall. No higher!”