A Day in Our Life

We just wrapped up Independence Day weekend with a welcome forecast of sunshine for the next week ahead. Man, do we need it. We’ve  had too many days of rain and chill. This is July! So far, it’s been one of the wettest years on record for the Portland area.  Everyone in the house has had a cold this last week. Jenny and I have had allergies on top of that. We’re going through plenty of Kleenex. So we laid low this weekend.

We usually write about particular events on this blog – a trip to the beach, a day at the farm, etc. – but I realize more and more that the kids will someday read this. This will be a record of these years they won’t really remember. As with most people, the veracity of their early childhood memories will forever be in doubt. Do I really remember that, or do I remember the photograph? The video? The story I was told by my parents?  Likewise, Jenny and I will grow, the rhythm of our daily lives will change, and we too will struggle to remember the feeling of now. I’m sure we’ll remember the joy and fun. We shouldn’t forget the frustration and challenges, though. It’s all part of the experience, and may provide perspective in the future.

Here’s a weekday with Oliver (3 ½ years old), Zaeda (1 year old), Jenny (36), Keith (37)

2:00 AM:  Oliver wakes up in the middle of the night. He’s had a bad dream, or he’s wet, or there is a housefly in his room. We wake up. We hear and see him on the B&W monitor in our upstairs bedroom. He’s calling for us. One of us goes down to comfort him and get him back to sleep.

4:00 AM:   Zaeda wakes up. She stands up in her crib, hands on the rail, wailing and watching us on the bed just feet away. Jenny and I hold still for a long time. Sometimes she gives up quickly and goes back to sleep. If she keeps it up, I take her out of the crib and Jenny nurses her. She falls asleep on Jenny. The two of them might finish the night that way, snoozing in the nursing position. Other times, we put her back in the crib.

5:30 – 5:45 AM:   One or both kids awake, wiggling, crawling, singing, talking. The cat is outside our bedroom mewling for food. We stumble out of bed. Feed pets. Make coffee. Prepare Oliver’s oatmeal -- sometimes the only thing he’ll eat for breakfast. I microwave some oats with milk, then stir in some butter, brown sugar and spoonful of peanut butter. After that I spread it out on a plate, which cools it quickly. For Zaeda, we cut up some fruit and add either chopped-up waffle, toast, cereal, or some clumps of oatmeal. Both kids drink milk and get their daily vitamins on the side. Jenny and I drink coffee, keep the kids eating, and try to look over the daily newspaper.

6:45 AM:  After breakfast I walk the dog for 10 minutes while Jenny gets the kids dressed. Oliver is absorbed in cartoons. Zaeda walks around getting into stuff. When I get back, we herd everyone upstairs. We load up cartoons on the computer for Oliver. Jenny and I take turns showering and getting ready while the other keeps Zaeda occupied. We used to have to help Oliver start the cartoons on the computer, but he now knows how to use the mouse himself to find and click on what he wants to see. This is not necessarily a good thing…

7:45 AM:  All dressed and ready. Jenny and I are dressed in clean business clothes. The kids are in clothes that they will not likely end the day in. Now begins the fight to get everyone out the door. It starts with shutting off the computer cartoons. We never know how easy it will be. Sometimes Oliver says, “all right” and shuts them off himself. Other times, there’s a huge struggle. But we’re the adults. We always win. Everyone downstairs. Finding shoes. Changing a last minute diaper blow out. Potty time for Oliver. Loading up the car. Dog out for one last break. Multiple trips from house to car. Kids buckled in. Portable coffee cups in place. What time is it?

8:00 AM:  We’re driving downtown. By popular demand, They Might Be Giants is playing in the car. Kids are usually quiet. Jenny and I discuss the day ahead.

8:15 AM:  Arrive at Jenny’s office. Drop her off. She kisses the kids, grab her things and heads into the office. Zaeda wails to see her go.

8:25 AM:  Arrive at daycare across town. Oliver out first. He has a toy he wants to bring for show-and-tell. I pop the trunk and get all their bags and stuff in hand. Finally comes Zaeda, who I carry. We walk around the building to the entrance, enter a security code and go in. The staff is great. They greet the kids by name. We drop off Zaeda in a room full of blubbering, wandering, stumbling 1-year-olds. Fill out a sheet. Put her food in the fridge. Big kiss, then leave the room. Oliver goes into his classroom with his toy in front of him, eager to show it off. His friends gather round him, Wyatt, Zoe, Nolan, and the rest. He’s soon playing. I sign them in and squirt a bunch of sanitizer on my hands before leaving the building.

8:40 AM:  I’m at work. Jenny and I exchange a couple emails or calls over the course of the day.

5:10 PM:  Jenny leaves work. If it’s rainy, she takes the Max across town to the parking lot and picks up the car before getting the kids. If it’s nice, she gets the kids and walks from daycare to the square outside my office at PSU. She has to do everything I did in the morning, but in reverse. She also has to collect any bags of soiled clothes, misc artwork, and daily reports. She often handles all this without the car.

6:15 PM:  I leave work and join Jenny and the kids. How was everyone’s day? As we drive home, Oliver fills us in on the games, fights, toilet accidents, jokes, etc. that happened at school today.

6:40 PM:  Get home. Dog out. Feed pets. Set up baby gates at the foot of the stairs and the kitchen. Oliver turns the sofa cushions into a castle. Zaeda either follows us crying to be held or plays with Oliver. Again, we take turns going upstairs to change – into sweatpants and t-shirts; we’ll be covered in something by the end of the evening and we don't give a damn how we look any more.

6:45 PM:  Start dinner. On good days, we’ve prepped something in the slow cooker that morning. Otherwise, one of us (we split it 50/50) starts on a 20 minute dinner.

7:15 PM:  Dinner. We’re all eating the same thing. Oliver is almost never happy with the food in front of him. Zaeda almost always is. For her, eating is still an adventure. She has some new teeth to practice with, and handful by handful, it all moves from the tray to her mouth, her face, her hair, or the floor.  Oliver will poke at his food, play with it, blow raspberries at his sister, tell us stories, or work on his name-calling (“Hey Goo-boo!  Mommy, I called Zaeda ‘Goo-boo’!" [delighted laughter]).  Jenny and I take turns asking him to eat. We coax, promise rewards (dessert), threaten (no dessert) and anything else we can to get him to finish. He plays a game of “how many bites?” where you have to tell him how many more bites he must put away to qualify for dessert. He may also forget how to use a fork or spoon and ask for help “loading” the food onto his utensil. Finally, he’ll just ask for one of us to help him eat it. By the end, he always eats something -- sometimes everything --and we’re all ready to be done with dinner.

7:40 PM:  Bath time. Bubble mix in. Water started. I try to remove at least some of the 20 or so toys crowding the tub but Oliver always dumps in a few more at the last minute (including stuffed animals and books). He complains that the water is too hot. I run more cold water. He starts playing. We bring Zaeda into the bathroom. She’s so covered with food we always hesitate, not sure where to start. We peel off her clothes and drop her in. She immediately goes for whatever toy Oliver is playing with. In between their playing, fighting, and shifting around, I try to work a soapy washcloth over them both. Soon, I’m pretty wet. Time for Zaeda to come out. Jenny takes her, dries her off, and soon has her fresh and smiling in clean pajamas. Oliver and I now battle over washing his hair. We’ve tried so many techniques & special tools, like a bath visor or a bucket with a soft side to keep the water out of his face. He won’t go for any of them. Too often it’s come to me holding him and shampooing and spraying out his hair as well as I can as he fights and screams. It always ends in tears and a puddle. Recently, Jenny has gotten him to relax on the kitchen counter as she gently uses only her hand to wash his hair. Thank God for her gentle method!

8:00 PM:  Pajamas on. Teeth brushed. Fluoride tablet. Last pee. Sticker for the successful pee posted on the sticker chart. Time for a story. Oliver’s bed is crowded with so many animals he must have there every night. I make room to sit. He sits beside me. Jenny places Zaeda with us on Oliver’s bed and I read from a library book. Zaeda makes it halfway through before she wants to climb over us both, and then she’s blubbering and clearly tired. Jenny picks her up and Zaeda does a night-night wave to us. Jenny takes her upstairs, reads a bit to her, and then puts her down. Oliver and I read another book or two and then I make up a story on the spot. He adds his own details. The story almost always starts with a boy named Oliver and ends with him going to bed. Lights out. Door shut.

8:15 PM: Oliver calling for us. “Mommy!” “Daddy!” because he needs water, or a stuffed animal is missing, or he wants a certain book in bed with him. This can go on for an hour, but usually we ignore him after the first request. He’s learning…

8:20 PM: I walk the dog. Jenny cleans up from dinner.

8:30 – 9:30 PM:  Sweet bliss as Jenny and I wind down and watch TV or talk till bedtime.

11:50 PM: Zaeda wakes up…