In the many times I’ve flown, there has always been an unhappy child somewhere on the plane. I consider it part of the experience. The discomfort of air pressure changes are a big deal for little kids, a strange ear ache that arrives in a crowded and unfamiliar environment. But those crying children were never mine, and while I seldom felt annoyed, and even felt empathy for the children, I never experienced feeling responsibility for those unhappy kids – until this week.
In the flight to Denver, we managed to keep Oliver busy with a sticker book. Zaeda fell asleep just before we boarded and so she snoozed a good part of the way. Oliver was concerned with just one question: ‘Are we in the air yet?” I realized as I looked out the window at the passing tarmac, the blurring landscape, that he couldn’t see any of it; his point of view was just too low; it was all sky for him out the window. So he had to take our word for it that we were in the air. When we hit turbulence and the plane dropped a bit, he was thrilled and said “Whoa!!” and giggled in a way that some people on the plane may not have appreciated.
The kids were only challenging the last 10 minutes as we heading in for landing. They were just squirming in the limited space, and that ended soon enough as we got out of the plane, and soon enough, the kids were with grandparents to spoil them.
The flight back seemed to take three times as long. Zaeda was tired and well past her naptime, but she didn’t sleep. She crawled over the three of us, either squealing and giggling, or moaning and crying. Oliver was fidgety. He’d placed all the stickers he was going to bother with and he wanted to move. He was kicking the seat in front of him. “Are we in the air yet?” he asked, again and again. We were all exhausted by the time we got home.
Back to Colorado: While in Denver the kids played in the back yard. We got out to a Natural History Museum (Dinosaurs!!!)
Jenny and I spent a couple days in Estes Park in the Rocky Mountain National Park. Beautiful. Relaxing. We slept in. We ate. We goofed off. Just right.
We proudly attended a local chili contest in Vancouver’s Esther Short park, where our own Mike and Karri brought home an award. We stopped by the local farmer’s market and bought some produce, including my favorite, Gravenstein apples, which have a limited window of availability because they don’t store well once picked. We had Gravensteins on the family farm and I try not to miss a chance to buy them when I find them. I took a bite and of course Zaeda saw me eating and was at my side in seconds, waiting for her turn, so I gave her a bite. Then Oliver saw her eating, and in no time the two were passing my apple back and forth, and though I’d lost my apple, I’d gained an adorable moment.
A Sunday at the World Forestry Center -- that place between the zoo and the children’s museum that we hadn’t been to in years. It was actually a lot of fun. Unlike the other places, the WFC was practically empty, and they had plenty of stuff for the kids to play with.
In general, Oliver and Zaeda are playing together more and more. She’s at a stage where they can have little games together, like hiding in the closet or a bit of wrestling. Recently we had some kid music CD playing in the house, and when it ended, the next CD started and it was “Walkin on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves. The kids immediately started dancing.
They sometimes survey the kids in Oliver's class on the meaning of words. Last week's word was "Respect." What does that mean? Before that, the word was "Love."
Oliver's Dino Land artwork. He writes his name now on most all of his creations.
Thursday, August 12th was Keith and my 10th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe that it's been 10 years already. Once again we headed up to the Rose Garden for a picnic. We're fortunate that our anniversary falls during Portland Parks and Rec's free summer concert series. This year we listened to African Drumming.
Here are some shots from Zaeda's photo shoot. We've been going to the same photographer for about 6 years and after each session I always wonder if she captured anything. I was really doubtful about this session with Zaeda. Zaeda was fussy, kept running away and was overall a bit challenging. Once again Kellie came through with some great shots.
Kellie really captured our sassy little girl in this shot.
Every girl needs a tutu or
two!
Zaeda in one of my dresses in the rocking chair Keith got for his first birthday.
Zaeda nows says "yeah" and nods her head vigorously. "Mine" is still a favorite and she is starting to use a fork. I love that I can ask her to put clothes in the hamper and she does it!
Earlier this month, Oliver and Zaeda went to stay with their grandparents in northern California. It was rodeo week in Fortuna, with parades and horses and carnival rides. It was also a chance for Zaeda to meet some family down there. Oliver spent many hours riding an electric quad around their property. Both kids had a great time.
Jenny and I had a weekend alone and we worked a bit more on repairing the ceiling in the living and dining rooms – a messy job of plaster and dust. We spend more time prepping and cleaning up than actually doing the work. There is still work to do, but we’re getting there. Midweek, we drove down to the San Francisco area to see our friends and family for a few days. As much fun as we had, we missed the kids so much by the end of that week that we could barely wait to see them as we drove back up the coast to Fortuna.
Popsicles on a hot day
Zaeda now explores the house with confidence. Today Jenny turned her back for a moment and discovered that Zaeda had gotten up onto an end table and was going through her purse! Her vocabulary is pretty much “mine” “Mamma” “Dadda” a complicated but consistent set of syllables I’m pretty sure is “Oliver” and a lot of indistinct babbling. She dances to music. She helps fold the laundry. Best of all, she’s really engaging her brother in play. She likes to hug him and really likes to wrestle. She’s usually the instigator of a wrestling match with him, and he’s surprisingly gentle with her. There are far more giggles than tears with the two of them these days.
Oliver is exploring all the answers to the question “Why?” It’s a stage I always looked forward to, and it’s fun, except when the why? is more a reflex than an expression of genuine curiosity. Giving honest thoughtful answers is a test of our ability to explain the most fundamental aspects of life.
“Daddy, why don’t you drive off this cliff?
“Why is this bread?”
“Why does this bridge go up?”
Other quotes:
(Struggling with the last piece of drawing paper on a roll) “How do I stop this paper from turning into a telescope?”
“When I get growed up, I want to be a diver” (or a pilot, a girl, a dinosaur, etc.)
"What do pterodactyls eat?"
Camping
We set up a tent in the yard last weekend to give the kids a taste of camping. It was a test-drive – the kind with a DVD player. Once the tent was full of mattresses, sleeping bags and pillows, it was a nice little romper room for them to play. Meanwhile, we set up the grill to cook hot dogs and roast marshmallows. I think the experience was useful for me and Jenny most of all. We learned that camping with the kids at this age is a lot of work, and that we should bring lots of napkins and patience. Oliver and I slept in the tent that night, and he didn’t go to sleep till midnight. I also learned that the pad I used to sleep on when I camped in my early 20s just doesn’t cut it any more. I need to get something more comfortable. I woke up sore – and alone; Oliver was up at the crack of dawn to get his breakfast with his mom.
Fishing
Yesterday we took the kids to meet my parents at a fishing pond for kids near Estacada. Dad is still healing from his foot injury a couple months ago, but he managed to get down the trail on crutches with a minimum of cursing. Uncle Joe was there to help. Oliver had a new fishing pole and we took some time getting it set up and baited. Then we cast it into the pond and handed it to Oliver with instructions to wait and watch – not the easiest things for a 3 yr old to do. He made it about 2 minutes before the pole was dropped and he was tossing rocks into the water. We didn’t catch anything.
Oliver drew the story of the lion and the mouse (note the thorn in the lion's paw)
We just wrapped up Independence Day weekend with a welcome forecast of sunshine for the next week ahead. Man, do we need it. We’ve had too many days of rain and chill. This is July! So far, it’s been one of the wettest years on record for the Portland area. Everyone in the house has had a cold this last week. Jenny and I have had allergies on top of that. We’re going through plenty of Kleenex. So we laid low this weekend.
We usually write about particular events on this blog – a trip to the beach, a day at the farm, etc. – but I realize more and more that the kids will someday read this. This will be a record of these years they won’t really remember. As with most people, the veracity of their early childhood memories will forever be in doubt. Do I really remember that, or do I remember the photograph? The video? The story I was told by my parents? Likewise, Jenny and I will grow, the rhythm of our daily lives will change, and we too will struggle to remember the feeling of now. I’m sure we’ll remember the joy and fun. We shouldn’t forget the frustration and challenges, though. It’s all part of the experience, and may provide perspective in the future.
Here’s a weekday with Oliver (3 ½ years old), Zaeda (1 year old), Jenny (36), Keith (37)
2:00 AM: Oliver wakes up in the middle of the night. He’s had a bad dream, or he’s wet, or there is a housefly in his room. We wake up. We hear and see him on the B&W monitor in our upstairs bedroom. He’s calling for us. One of us goes down to comfort him and get him back to sleep.
4:00 AM: Zaeda wakes up. She stands up in her crib, hands on the rail, wailing and watching us on the bed just feet away. Jenny and I hold still for a long time. Sometimes she gives up quickly and goes back to sleep. If she keeps it up, I take her out of the crib and Jenny nurses her. She falls asleep on Jenny. The two of them might finish the night that way, snoozing in the nursing position. Other times, we put her back in the crib.
5:30 – 5:45 AM: One or both kids awake, wiggling, crawling, singing, talking. The cat is outside our bedroom mewling for food. We stumble out of bed. Feed pets. Make coffee. Prepare Oliver’s oatmeal -- sometimes the only thing he’ll eat for breakfast. I microwave some oats with milk, then stir in some butter, brown sugar and spoonful of peanut butter. After that I spread it out on a plate, which cools it quickly. For Zaeda, we cut up some fruit and add either chopped-up waffle, toast, cereal, or some clumps of oatmeal. Both kids drink milk and get their daily vitamins on the side. Jenny and I drink coffee, keep the kids eating, and try to look over the daily newspaper.
6:45 AM: After breakfast I walk the dog for 10 minutes while Jenny gets the kids dressed. Oliver is absorbed in cartoons. Zaeda walks around getting into stuff. When I get back, we herd everyone upstairs. We load up cartoons on the computer for Oliver. Jenny and I take turns showering and getting ready while the other keeps Zaeda occupied. We used to have to help Oliver start the cartoons on the computer, but he now knows how to use the mouse himself to find and click on what he wants to see. This is not necessarily a good thing…
7:45 AM: All dressed and ready. Jenny and I are dressed in clean business clothes. The kids are in clothes that they will not likely end the day in. Now begins the fight to get everyone out the door. It starts with shutting off the computer cartoons. We never know how easy it will be. Sometimes Oliver says, “all right” and shuts them off himself. Other times, there’s a huge struggle. But we’re the adults. We always win. Everyone downstairs. Finding shoes. Changing a last minute diaper blow out. Potty time for Oliver. Loading up the car. Dog out for one last break. Multiple trips from house to car. Kids buckled in. Portable coffee cups in place. What time is it?
8:00 AM: We’re driving downtown. By popular demand, They Might Be Giants is playing in the car. Kids are usually quiet. Jenny and I discuss the day ahead.
8:15 AM: Arrive at Jenny’s office. Drop her off. She kisses the kids, grab her things and heads into the office. Zaeda wails to see her go.
8:25 AM: Arrive at daycare across town. Oliver out first. He has a toy he wants to bring for show-and-tell. I pop the trunk and get all their bags and stuff in hand. Finally comes Zaeda, who I carry. We walk around the building to the entrance, enter a security code and go in. The staff is great. They greet the kids by name. We drop off Zaeda in a room full of blubbering, wandering, stumbling 1-year-olds. Fill out a sheet. Put her food in the fridge. Big kiss, then leave the room. Oliver goes into his classroom with his toy in front of him, eager to show it off. His friends gather round him, Wyatt, Zoe, Nolan, and the rest. He’s soon playing. I sign them in and squirt a bunch of sanitizer on my hands before leaving the building.
8:40 AM: I’m at work. Jenny and I exchange a couple emails or calls over the course of the day.
5:10 PM: Jenny leaves work. If it’s rainy, she takes the Max across town to the parking lot and picks up the car before getting the kids. If it’s nice, she gets the kids and walks from daycare to the square outside my office at PSU. She has to do everything I did in the morning, but in reverse. She also has to collect any bags of soiled clothes, misc artwork, and daily reports. She often handles all this without the car.
6:15 PM: I leave work and join Jenny and the kids. How was everyone’s day? As we drive home, Oliver fills us in on the games, fights, toilet accidents, jokes, etc. that happened at school today.
6:40 PM: Get home. Dog out. Feed pets. Set up baby gates at the foot of the stairs and the kitchen. Oliver turns the sofa cushions into a castle. Zaeda either follows us crying to be held or plays with Oliver. Again, we take turns going upstairs to change – into sweatpants and t-shirts; we’ll be covered in something by the end of the evening and we don't give a damn how we look any more.
6:45 PM: Start dinner. On good days, we’ve prepped something in the slow cooker that morning. Otherwise, one of us (we split it 50/50) starts on a 20 minute dinner.
7:15 PM: Dinner. We’re all eating the same thing. Oliver is almost never happy with the food in front of him. Zaeda almost always is. For her, eating is still an adventure. She has some new teeth to practice with, and handful by handful, it all moves from the tray to her mouth, her face, her hair, or the floor. Oliver will poke at his food, play with it, blow raspberries at his sister, tell us stories, or work on his name-calling (“Hey Goo-boo! Mommy, I called Zaeda ‘Goo-boo’!" [delighted laughter]). Jenny and I take turns asking him to eat. We coax, promise rewards (dessert), threaten (no dessert) and anything else we can to get him to finish. He plays a game of “how many bites?” where you have to tell him how many more bites he must put away to qualify for dessert. He may also forget how to use a fork or spoon and ask for help “loading” the food onto his utensil. Finally, he’ll just ask for one of us to help him eat it. By the end, he always eats something -- sometimes everything --and we’re all ready to be done with dinner.
7:40 PM: Bath time. Bubble mix in. Water started. I try to remove at least some of the 20 or so toys crowding the tub but Oliver always dumps in a few more at the last minute (including stuffed animals and books). He complains that the water is too hot. I run more cold water. He starts playing. We bring Zaeda into the bathroom. She’s so covered with food we always hesitate, not sure where to start. We peel off her clothes and drop her in. She immediately goes for whatever toy Oliver is playing with. In between their playing, fighting, and shifting around, I try to work a soapy washcloth over them both. Soon, I’m pretty wet. Time for Zaeda to come out. Jenny takes her, dries her off, and soon has her fresh and smiling in clean pajamas. Oliver and I now battle over washing his hair. We’ve tried so many techniques & special tools, like a bath visor or a bucket with a soft side to keep the water out of his face. He won’t go for any of them. Too often it’s come to me holding him and shampooing and spraying out his hair as well as I can as he fights and screams. It always ends in tears and a puddle. Recently, Jenny has gotten him to relax on the kitchen counter as she gently uses only her hand to wash his hair. Thank God for her gentle method!
8:00 PM: Pajamas on. Teeth brushed. Fluoride tablet. Last pee. Sticker for the successful pee posted on the sticker chart. Time for a story. Oliver’s bed is crowded with so many animals he must have there every night. I make room to sit. He sits beside me. Jenny places Zaeda with us on Oliver’s bed and I read from a library book. Zaeda makes it halfway through before she wants to climb over us both, and then she’s blubbering and clearly tired. Jenny picks her up and Zaeda does a night-night wave to us. Jenny takes her upstairs, reads a bit to her, and then puts her down. Oliver and I read another book or two and then I make up a story on the spot. He adds his own details. The story almost always starts with a boy named Oliver and ends with him going to bed. Lights out. Door shut.
8:15 PM: Oliver calling for us. “Mommy!” “Daddy!” because he needs water, or a stuffed animal is missing, or he wants a certain book in bed with him. This can go on for an hour, but usually we ignore him after the first request. He’s learning…
8:20 PM: I walk the dog. Jenny cleans up from dinner.
8:30 – 9:30 PM: Sweet bliss as Jenny and I wind down and watch TV or talk till bedtime.
I have quite a few clothes that I wore as a little girl and I have had fun putting Zaeda in these same outfits.
This is a picture of me at 11 months wearing my poppy’s christening gown. The gown was 57 years old in 1975. Here is Zaeda at almost 12 months wearing it. We took about a dozen pictures and most of them just have her foot in the shot. She’s a busy little girl.
Zaeda is walking a lot and she’s fast, getting into more trouble and making us chase her. One of her favorite tricks it to start up the stairs and giggle as we tell her no. It’s a game to see how many steps she can climb before we make it to her and take her back. Her record is about five.
She is now very expressive, both physically and vocally, and is starting to mimic a lot of sounds. Some of the ones we recognize:
Her favorite by far is "oooohh!" and her little mouth is in the perfect little “o” shape. She waves bye-bye and night-night and points at everything. She also holds a play cell phone to her ear to “talk”.
1st Birthday Party
Zaeda’s party started off with lots of presents—adorable clothes, nesting blocks and baby dolls (the stylish blonde doll in denim was made by our very talented friend and neighbor Autumn). I tried out a new cupcake recipe which seemed to go over ok. It was a chocolate cupcake with a ganache center and meringue buttercream frosting. I didn’t think the frosting turned out that great but it was edible.
We got the customary shots of Zaeda eating her cupcake when she suddenly became very fussy. She was pulling and scratching at her ears which were bright red and the skin around her neck was also red with what looked like welts. We cleaned her up quickly and headed to urgent care thinking she was having an allergic reaction to something. We left the house in a big hurry without much of an explanation and a complete disaster of ice cream, cupcakes, tissue paper and presents. Thanks to everyone who stuck around and cleaned up.
After about 30 minutes in the waiting room Zaeda seemed to be getting better. We waited a total of 2 ½ hours before she was finally seen and diagnosed with an ear infection in both ears. Not exactly how we planned her first birthday to go but it was memorable.
Here we are at the end of Monday and Oliver is coming up on 4 days straight with a sticker on his face. Apparently one of his teachers stuck it on his face for fun, but he has since refused all requests to take it off. Once it dried on, it wouldn’t come off easily, not that he’d let us try. Right now he’s in the bathtub, where I was able to soak it a bit, but I think we’ll see sticker residue the rest of the week.
He’s been obsessed with collecting bugs in a little plastic bug collection container. There are potato bugs in our yard that’ve been caught and released four times by now. They’re learning to scatter when they hear him coming.
